From Both Sides of the Table – Why is third grade so hard for some students?! (Includes suggestions for parents to help their child with reading and written language.)

I always say that third grade is a very important year in the life of a child. It is the year that so much brain development happens within the classroom, at home, and on the playground. Parent’s may not realize it – but this is a year that a child with subtle learning problems will all of the sudden start to “stick out”.

School Psychologists often receive a great many special education referrals for third graders. Maybe even more than any others. It seems that this is a time when teachers start to advise parents that their child is “not learning as they should be” or perhaps is “dyslexic”. As a School Psychologist I use to dread the week following the first set of parent-teacher conferences. It meant that I would be flooded with referrals.

WHY THIRD GRADE? I have a theory… or two…

Up until the third grade many of our books included loads of photos and pictures. So, a child who had difficulty with reading or comprehending passages could maybe “fake it” by using really good scanning skills or guessing. Plus, a child with good memory may recall a story or bits of passages if they were read to the child prior. But, in ,good ‘ol third grade the pictures greatly reduce compared to early reading books. The vocabulary becomes harder. Common words used in the first primer years now are transformed to bigger words. We sprinkle synonyms, and antonyms all over the text. There may be introductions to unique or new parts of speech or … wait for it… idioms! Plus, the content can be abstract. A child may need to rely on prior knowledge or imagination. Thus, a child who is very literal may really start to become quite frustrated and exhibit learning issues.

And as with reading – the expectations of written language also increase. No longer do we accept the three-sentence paragraph. We now need to write and write and write… a little at a time or maybe a whole entire page. There may be some prompts or “story starters” – but, by the middle to the end of third grade, our little authors need to be pretty fluid with basic sentence structure. The reversals of letters are no longer acceptable and in fact, a red flag for possible dyslexia.

That brings me to my next point – what is DYSLEXIA? Some people think it simply means reversing letters or numbers. Nope. That is not all true. It is perhaps one of the characteristics of dyslexia- but this disorder is a bit more complicated. Here is a snapshot of what dyslexia “may look like” and please keep in mind that professionals can help you – but please don’t “self diagnose”.

A person with dyslexia may demonstrate a few of the following challenging learning behaviors:

  1. Reads without fluency. Often will mispronounce words, omit words, substitute words or hesitate and need to start over.
  2. Has a hard time knowing what letters make which sounds. This is called phonemic awareness. Some children with read letters wrong and thus identify their sounds incorrectly. A child who reads pal instead of gal because they read the p for g and then identified the wrong sound, is one example. It also shows some letter confusion visually. Also, a child who hears the “p” sounds instead of “b” sound may think they heard pad instead of bad.
  3. Reversals of letters or words. In younger children, we consider reversing letters a developmental stage. After all TOYS R US made it clear that this was a “kid thing” by flipping the R between TOYS and US… But by the THIRD GRADE, this is something we don’t expect students to do.
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So, what can parents do?

Here are some strategies that I recommend to parents to help spurn a love of reading, writing, and even math in their child who struggles. Let’s face it- a child who hates to read or cannot write may miss out – especially as they grow older. So let’s try to prevent this from happening by incorporating reading and writing into our everyday lives!

TIP 1: READ ANYTHING…

My parents use to say I could read anything I wanted to read. If I wanted to read a magazine instead of a storybook before bedtime -that was OK. In high school, I would find all the scary novels on the library shelves and take them home devouring them as fast as I could turn the pages. So my philosophy is to allow your child to read just about anything.

TIP 2: LIVE BY EXAMPLE

Parents who demonstrate their appreciation for the written word pass on that behavior to their children more times than not. Perhaps setting a time each week as “family read time” would be a great way to have a shared family experience that will transcend beyond your home and into the classroom.

TIP 3: MAKE READING AND WRITING FUN!

Did you know that many board games involve reading and often writing? Games that are trademarked and have withstood the test of time are often current family favorites. They also have invaluable lessons. So grab Monopoly, Scrabble, Boggle, Risk, Scatterfories, Code Names, Trivia Pursuit (and the “junior” edition) and the countless other games available and play, play, play!

Here is a list I have posted before of common games and what skills they teach. This is by no means an exhaustive list and you may note that many of these games are for 8 and up. So they start around the second or third-grade level.

Trivia Pursuit – helps with turn-taking and general knowledge

Monopoly teaches reading, about money, strategy building, and for many – disappointment!

CLUE is a game that teaches reading, memory and deductive reasoning skills. The same is true for GUESS WHO.

YAHTZEE teaches great math skills – from addition to multiplication. Also a visual discrimination exercise.

MEMORY – well it teaches just that!

CONNECT 4 helps with visual memory and perception.

SCRABBLE is all about word building.

SCATTEGORIES is hones in on language skills like categorization and associations.

CODE NAMES is a fairly new game in comparison to some of these others and it too teaches about memory and word usage.

TIP 4: REGULAR PAPER CAN BE BORING! SHAKE IT UP!

If the opportunity for creativity arises – shake up learning by using unique online programs, different color paper, or templates for cartoons! A diary or journal can spark writing in many kids.

I recently discovered CANVA’s EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE. Here are some examples of what you can make using this dynamic site. There are many pricing options you can pick- some are free.


AND… a few more tips

*Play classical music in the background as your child is working or reading.

*Have your child read a recipe to you and cook that meal!

*Go to museums, art galleries, national parks, or any place that is culturally rich and reading is needed to enhance the experience

*Ask a relative or friend to be your child’s pen pal!

*Invest, if you can, in art materials. Yard sales are great to purchase used items that can be turned into artistic masterpieces!

*Have your child read in a different place than where they do homework. Like on a porch chair or in a special reading nook – just for them!

*Have your child read to you or teach you new words. Playing teacher is a very instrumental way for your child to actually LEARN!


In closing, I love third-graders. In fact, I love watching children of all ages learn. But, I recognize as a psychologist and a parent that third grade was one of those “tough years”. So, if you feel that your child really is having difficulties with learning or your child’s teachers are continually concerned – then consider asking for a referral to see if support could be offered. Know that usually there are many steps before a special education referral is made. Such as RTI- tiered intervention to help a child struggling with academic attainment. Also you may be told about a 504 plan – something discussed earlier in this series.

I wish you all a happy school year –

~Louise

The FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE TABLE SERIES STARTS HERE

“SHIT ADULTS NEVER TAUGHT US” – What I LEARNED from my daughter’s self-help / mini-memoir.

One of the opening lines of her first journal from kindergarten read, “When I grw up I want to be a dwkter.” And, with a single affirmation began the career path for our daughter, Natasha Sattler. Yes, after honing her craft she now is an accomplished filmmaker, producer, and most recently author of a new book – SHIT ADULTS NEVER TAUGHT US.

Did the title take your breath away? It did mine, just for a second, the first time I read it. But, if you know anything about Natasha you know this – she does not hold anything back. She speaks her mind. She will talk and write with candor and a generous amount of humor. But, she will tell it like it is. Her journey is chronicled in this book – “no holds barred.” I for one am glad she didn’t try to be polite and politically correct. (I guess the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree?)

SHIT ADULTS NEVER TAUGHT US (to be shortened by me as SANTU) is best described in one short quote:

“A SNAPSHOT REVIEW OF THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T LEARN IN SCHOOL – IN QUICK, HILARIOUS CHAPTERS.” 

But for those who are seeking a wee bit more context about the book, try this longer explanation that Natasha wrote for her book jacket and promotional materials:

We’ve made it this far, but after countless conversations with friends, it became obvious to me that our childhood education had a ton of gaps. Sure, we learned linear equations and got to dissect frogs for some reason, but no one taught us what the difference between an HMO and a PPO was and why it’s important. I took several years of Algebra but not once was a Mutual Funds class offered. 

That’s where Shit Adults Never Taught Us comes in. This book picks up where the adults left off and helps fill in all our insufficient knowledge by going beyond the Google search bar. 

Disguised as a self-help book, this mini-memoir uses personal experiences, including some epic failures, to guide you through the most perplexing moments in life. Shit Adults Never Taught Us covers a lot of topics: including career strategies, mental health, emotional quandaries, and navigating all of the WTF moments of adulthood.


Now the “Mom” perspective. I read the first and second draft of SANTU. First time I read it as if there was a disconnect – trying to put on my “objective hat”. Looking at the grammar and flow of the book. Yep, it seemed to check all the technical boxes.

The second time, I laughed, I cried, I had a few “aha moments”, and I reminisced. Here are a few of my personal favorites from the book:

And… I will read it again – the final polished version and this time I will wait for the phone to ring. You see, SANTU is raw. It is honest. It is FULL of profanity. It is Natasha’s truth and I am beaming with pride that she had the courage to tell it. It also may not sit well with people who may recognize the “cast of characters”. Too bad, I say. No one is mentioned by name. So, let the guessing begin.

What I truly am hoping is that the readers will learn more about the practical things in their life that may be missing. Perhaps a few lessons for all on how to deal with money, career choices, and buying “stuff” – like a car. Then there is the more heavy weighted material to digest and this is where the road gets a little uncomfortable. Natasha talks candidly about relationships, mental health (including her own), and grief. She has experienced her share of all of them from the end of long – term partnership to losing close friends way before their time. The book is written about her life juxtaposed with lessons to be learned – the sh*t that this parental unit may have forgotten to teach, school didn’t cover, or simply she found out (or didn’t) from “Mr.Google”. (Perhaps the desire to educate is genetic?)

SHIT ADULTS NEVER TAUGHT US NOW AVAILABLE on Amazon / Barnes and Noble Apple Books and GOOGLE STORES

READ the REVIEWS!!! GOODREADS

To learn more straight from the author – check out recent podcast interviews and the SANTU website here.

Or click the images below to go straight to each podcast that has aired at the time of this blog being uploaded.

In closing, I welcome respectful comments and thank you for reading this blog.

Be well. Be safe. And if you bought the book- thank you!

OY! What a Year! Photos Included.

I have started and stopped writing this “Retrospect of 2020” blog – a dozen times. Seriously. I started to organize my thoughts into a succinct blog days ago – each time with the intention to write about why we need to be hopeful and positive as we turn the calendar to 2021. I wanted to write about being grateful . I wanted to write how I learned so much by literally staying home. Yet… what I ended up typing (and deleting 12 times) was a potpourri of complaints. My rants ranged from a tirade of how so many people ended the year with unfathomable heartache due to Covid 19 to my disgust with the polarization of our country – largely due to politics. Delete. Delete. Delete… etc.

Finally – on my 13th attempt to write this blog – I found clarity.

2020 was about survival. I don’t have any words of wisdom for 2021. No big resolutions. No grand plans.

So, I end the year with a blog of photos from the year. Hard to believe that 2020 was a year that we saw LA Zoo Lights New Year’s weekend- back when the year held so much promise. Then off to Nevada to see Alan Parsons in concert and hike red rocks! January, February and early March also brought fabulous times including with the cast of THE CUBAN at the PanAm Film Festival followed by the LA Travel and Adventure Show, cheering our favorite films of 2019 the Oscars at a party at the Millennium Biltmore Hotel, working on The Salon Digital Series for Emmy consideration, and celebrating Margaret McSweeney’s induction in to the Hall of Fame for the Taste Awards! Then Covid hit and we pressed the pause button. That is when you will see my photos become more of my surroundings -including starting a fairy garden for neighbors to enjoy. I learned to listen to nature and appreciate the simplicity of life. Enjoy my photos and please drop your blog in the comments for me to check out your year in review.

Be well. Be safe. Happy 2021. ~Louise

All photos are the property of Louise Sattler. Snapped with an iPhone 8 or iPhone 11 Max. 2020 All Rights Reserved Louise Sattler


A hurting heart

Today in Los Angeles and across the the world our hearts hurt for the death of a father, his daughter and seven other people in a senseless accident. Collectively, we mourn for the loss of a great mentor and legendary basketball player. Today we experience deep sadness because of a young teen who died too soon.

Today we grieve. –

We are saddened by the news…and overwhelmed by the reality, that this week a wife and mother of four children will bury her husband and second born. Together. It just doesn’t make any sense. Death of a child never does.

Rest in eternal peace Kobe and Gianni Bryant.

 

 

Wishing you an Insightful 2020 and Much More!

First and foremost, let me start by wishing each person reading this blog a very happy, health, prosperous and insightful 2020!

May your year be full of adventure, meaningful conversations and joy.

Here is hoping that your worst fears never happen and your most secret birthday “candle” wishes do.

Cheers to those who are brave enough to dare to dream, work earnestly towards goals, are honest about their capabilities and limitations.

“High 5” to the people who try, despite the odds, and regardless if they succeed or fail.

Kudos to those who adopt and don’t shop when they add a “furever” family member. Dogs and cats who are adopted rescues are extra special – just like those who bring them in to their homes.

Blessings to those who are parents, caregivers, mentors and teachers. You are helping to invest in our world more than anyone can measure.

Huge and heartfelt thank you to those who run towards the fire to help, arrive first at the scene of the accident or keep our world safe.

Lastly… remember those who are no longer here walking among us but forever in our hearts and minds. They built the legacy to which we continue our daily lives. We owe them a debt of gratitude and love.

May 2020 be spectacular. Just, Like. You!

A Day at the Reagan Library

Father’s Day is always tricky for me. I never know what presents to buy for hubby and this year was no exception. So, I took a “page” from our daughter’s philosophy that experiences far exceeds “things” when it comes to present giving. I took that sage advice and gave hubby a pass to the National Presidential Libraries (NARA.org) with our first stop- the Reagan Library.

This summer the Reagan library is hosting the Da Vinci collection. In essence, it was a handful of his mechanical drawings of tools. From his attempts to draw prototypes for flight to weapons that could create massive amounts of injury or death. Yes, the painter of the Mona Lisa must have spent many hours thinking dark thoughts to create such drawings that were more like “Dexter” than the angels he depicted in his earliest paintings.

Da Vinci's Artwork

Da Vinci’s life and artwork have been long chronicled.  However, there remain many unanswered questions about his greatest works and the thought processes that were involved with his artistry and his mechanical drawings.

For example,  The Mona Lisa is one piece from Da Vinci’s portfolio that is veiled in continual mystery. Was ‘Mona Lisa” a woman or a man that captured the love interest of the reportedly homosexual DaVinci?

 Secondly, the painting of the Last Supper has kept the interest and populated many a question by art and theology aficionados. Why did Da Vinci paint the 12 disciples and Christ as he did? 

Also, at the Reagan library you will find Andy Warhol’s rendition of the Last Supper.  The two juxtapose exhibits presented an interesting mix of pop culture meeting ancient masterpieces! 

Below are the replicas on display at the Reagan library.

Don't leave without visiting other wonderful exhibits at the Reagan Library.

Allot two hours to really walk and enjoy the DaVinci exhibit. Then treat yourselves to lunch or a snack at the cafe on the grounds.  

I would recommend not leaving before you visit the other notable parts of this vast library, including Air Force 1, Marine 1 and the gardens.  

In the outside gardens you will find the burial place for the President and First Lady.  Surrounded by a vista that is simply lovely.

Roses bushes adorn the exterior and must have been a favorite of Nancy Reagan. 

You will also find a slab of the Berlin Wall.  The docent indicated that this particular section was chosen as President Reagan looked the butterfly drawing that was on the Western Side. The Eastern Side is blank.  Just concrete.

Inside, there are scores of exhibits that chronicle the two terms of the Reagan presidency and his life before and after.  If visiting expect to add at least two more hours to cover these exhibits and visit the actual Air Force One and Marine One aircraft.

  

Top Ten List for “Adulting”

A few nights ago Hubby and I were watching NBC NEWS when they played a segment about young adults taking “Adulting” classes. What is “Adulting”?

Here is the formal definition:

Adulting is the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.

wiki

Here is my definition. “Adulting” is when you are grown-up enough to get your teeth cleaned, your laundry done, eat healthy and remember to have your car oil changed without a reminder or money from a parental unit.

This NBC NEWS segment focused on how young adults now are taking CLASSES to learn how to sew, iron, do laundry, make a meal and other tasks that are considered mundane but essential to every day living. (I love adult education, but never thought of “adulting” education!)

Watch the NBC NEWS segment here.

Experts during the interview were discussing how such classes are needed due to school curriculums cutting what use to be “standard courses”. No longer do you see in most schools options to take high school “Home economics”, “Personal Accounting” or “Wood Shop”. They have been replaced by advanced courses in science, math and more. To learn basic skills, the commentator stated that many are signing up for ADULTING CLASSES!

I find it funny that there are so many adults who can solve tough calculus problems or write computer code but do not know how to sort and wash laundry nor sew a button on to a jacket. Their “home- cooked meal” is when Door Dash delivers them something from a local restaurant that is not a sandwich or pizza.

So, if I had to pick a “Top 10” list of what are the ESSENTIALS to know when you are “Adulting” – this would be my list:

  1. Learn what to do in an emergency – including CPR.
  2. Learn how to cook and clean up the mess afterwards. A basic cookbook can be your best friend and a money saver!
  3. Learn how to SAVE money. A rainy day fund is not $50. A rainy day fund should be several months of income in a bank to pay bills in case you are out of work.
  4. Do the REAL VERSIONS! Learn how to write a REAL letter vs. EMAIL and know the difference. And – READ A REAL BOOK vs. an electronic version!
  5. How to change a tire, check your oil and pump your own gas. (I “see” you New Jersey folks!)
  6. How and Why to CARRY CASH! Do not travel without some cash. What if there is an electrical outage and credit cards, Venmo or other electronic currencies cannot be exchanged. Oh my! Take out this “thing” called a wallet and use the green paper bills and silver coins to pay!
  7. Know when to fold’em. If you like to gamble know your limits. As enticing as Black Jack is – it is not worth losing your car, your home, your family over. This adulting “warning” goes for anything that can be done in excess.
  8. Learn how to do laundry.
  9. Learn how to take care of a small child without being distracted.
  10. Learn how to be polite, even when you don’t like the person you are with.

Now that I read over my list I realize I have some more “adulting” to do!!

Feel free to add to this list in the comment section.