I have been the victim of identity theft. Not the kind that steals your bank account numbers or my pay pal account, but that which has taken me.. the person. You see Mr. #$%! Cancer decided to steal my identity about the same time that I had to divulge having Mr. #$%! Cancer, at all. From that moment on my identity was not mine, but his. Now I am the wife/mother/sister/daughter/friend/co-worker/ etc. with cancer. DAMN!
So, I am going to do something about it. I have decided to now declare that I am DONE being a cancer patient. It is gone. The beast has been zapped out of me with high doses of radioactive iodine. Only remnants of this nightmare is an impressive case of laryngitis and a scar. Oh well… they are my war wounds. Now please.. permit me to have my identity back and stop staring at my neck. I really want to revert back to the “old me”. The one where I get to tell bawdy jokes, shop til I drop, eat lots of chocolate and watch more movies in a weekend than most critics with my family. I want to walk freely without my scarf and not have to explain each time I pick up the phone who I am and why I sound so “sultry”. And most of all I don’t want to breathe another word about Mr. #$%! Cancer to anyone who doesn’t get paid to hear my woes.. so that means only Top Doc and I will be discussing the identity stealer and everyone else can stop.
WHEW.. that felt good.. Now know that I thank each and everyone of you for letting me rant this week. And if you ever wonder how you can help others who are fighting the beast here are few tips that I have generated and I also have had received from others who had their identities stolen, too…
1- Help the person who has had their identity stolen by offering services. Flowers are nice and welcome but also consider giving of your time such as driving the kids home from after school events, grocery shopping or picking up prescriptions.
2. Don’t talk about the person with Mr. #$%! Cancer in front of them as if they aren’t there. And, please don’t talk about all the people you know who have had to deal with Mr. #$%! Cancer or who have died. Seriously.. everyone I have connected with who has been fighting the beast has said that they are not helped by hearing other war stories. Especially when the outcomes were not good.
3. Don’t do nothing. I have been really lucky that so many people reached out to me and helped me through my process. Other people, however, tell me of their experiences which are far less “blessed”. I have heard stories of friends who stop calling because Mr. #$%! Cancer was just too sad for them to deal with and calling to offer help was too hard. (Well isn’t being a true friend about taking the good, bad and the ugly?) I advised these people to press the “Delete” button with these so called “friends”. And that means to delete them on Facebook, too. Friends who don’t come to help you during troubled times don’t deserve to be privy to your life .. at all.. just saying.
4. Get help. You can’t do it alone, so reach out to those who can help you and share similar experieces. I was lucky to have connected with a super organization called Dear Thyroid. They helped me in a way no one else could. I am indebted to them. Each person with their own situation should reach out. Your family and friends can only do so much.
5. Lastly, laugh, learn and leave the anger behind. Keep your eye on the end of the tunnel and don’t get stuck mid-way. It is sooo easy to get stuck because of feeling the perpetual feeling as if you have been robbed. You can only be a victim if you allow others to treat you as a victim. I refuse.
Thanks for reading and helping me to get my identity back. Now go have a groovy week….
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