A lot of my discussions with friends and relatives lately have centered around the word… TRANSITIONS. “My kid is off to middle school this fall, how will I survive”, “My husband and I are moving, the house is too large for us with the kids gone”, ” I am quitting my job and starting a fresh new business”, and on and on and on.
And like many, my little family also is undergoing transitions. We will have two in college this year. I will be transitioning our hard earned money from our bank account to the finance offices at Michigan State and U of Central Florida. And when all the moving hoopla is done for our two collegians my hubby and I will return to our somewhat empty five bedroom home. The dogs will be waiting for us. I know that the sneaky white one, Tess, already has scoped out our son’s room to claim as her own… hmmm.
By the way, re-entering our home after the college drop-off is is the part of this new cycle of our life I will HATE. You see, a mother with ADHD should not be allowed to have a home that is sans a lot of noise and activity. I do not operate well in quiet. I need a little chaos. I will miss the door banging to let me know that dozens of teens are here and coming in to our home just in time for dinner. The sound of loud music, books and shoes being slammed on to the floor at our front door, and the phone ringing at all hours is music to my ears and warms my heart. (My husband who is hard of hearing will not miss noise he cannot always hear, however!) I will miss the loud and sometimes “attitudinal” remarks from my kids. I will miss the laughter, often at my expense. I will miss all that is encompassed by being a mom- ready and waiting to spring in to immediate action to care for my cherubs!
So, here is my strategy for coping with my new transition period.
First, I will not use the words- “empty nest” to describe my new situation. Instead, our home will now be known as at “Low occupancy” vs. “No vacancy”.
Second, hell have no fury as the next person who tells me now is a good time to start my “bucket list”. Seriously! As far as I know, I am not dying. I didn’t even like the movie. And …I am a mother who just paid two out of state tuitions. Do you think I have an endless stash of dollars out there to help me go on the long awaited African Safari, or to walk the Great Wall, or cruise to Alaska?
Third, “This will be a great time to rekindle your marriage”. I didn’t know that our embers burned out.
And lastly, I will try and embrace new endeavors, new adventures, new malls. I hear that mild retail therapy can be good for moms in “transition”.
Just in case you are curious and want to hear how others may handle life transitions, too… listen next Wednesday, August 4th as Kat Eden from Education.com stops by Learning and Laughter with Louise! (With a special co-host, Beth Engleman, from Mommy on a ShoeString!)
Louise Masin Sattler is a busy psychologist and owner of Signing Families™. She also is honored to be part of the HerInsight Network Catch her show, Learning and Laughter with Louise! every Wednesday at 9 a.m. EST. Coffee optional. Laughing is mandatory.