Tag: life lessons

A hurting heart

Today in Los Angeles and across the the world our hearts hurt for the death of a father, his daughter and seven other people in a senseless accident. Collectively, we mourn for the loss of a great mentor and legendary basketball player. Today we experience deep sadness because of a young teen who died too soon.

Today we grieve. –

We are saddened by the news…and overwhelmed by the reality, that this week a wife and mother of four children will bury her husband and second born. Together. It just doesn’t make any sense. Death of a child never does.

Rest in eternal peace Kobe and Gianni Bryant.

2018 – Another year of “Life Lessons”

Hello (almost) 2019!  I must admit that 2018 was a roller-coaster year.  I can only sum it up with these handful of “life lessons”… 

Kindness Matters.  These aren’t just words. This is a call to action to demonstrate without fanfare how kindness matters every single day and to pass on this quest to the younger generation. Thanks to the Born this Way Foundation, I was able to hear many accounts about random (and not so random) acts of kindness that made monumental changes in the lives of others.

Have fun. Have lots of fun.  Travel and then re-pack the suitcase and travel again as the world of travel gives you the best education ever!  See new surroundings through the lens of the local folks instead of the tour guide book.  Take lots of photos and print them.  Chronicle your adventures with these photos and your recollections in print. Hubby and I went on several trips this year and each one taught me something different.




Dogs are the best.  After children, a dog in the house is the best.  Our Bayla brings light and humor to us daily.  She reminds us to live in the moment.  She also reminds me that resiliency is a great trait to possess.  Bayla was also the subject of one of my more controversial blogs where I spoke my mind and heard about it from others.  You can find it here.

Now this was a hard one.  There are no do-overs in serious relationships.  You can never set back the clock and pretend “that your actions that spoke louder than words” could ever be erased.  I have seen lives torn apart this year over unkind acts and tweets.  Just reading the online news alone is proof that relationships shift due to shifty behavior.  Now more than ever, I am reminded of these lessons:  You are accountable for your actions, posts and behavior.  And …”You are the company that you keep.”  

My opinion is simply mine. Not yours.  Don’t twist my words or deeds.  When I write, speak or teach, I am sharing my opinion. I own it.  I do not expect others to agree or even to adopt my opinions.  Don’t like what you are reading – click the arrow to change the page or keep scrolling!  Enough said.

Silence can be the golden path to peace.   I have learned to say nothing when at times I really wanted to scream. I learned this year, more than ever, that silence may be needed  when the world seems clearly out of control.  I remain silent because I want to not be misunderstood about my intent or actions. I remain silent perhaps because  I am trying to listen and learn.  I made 2018 the year of striving for quiet, peace and calm.  Because I KNEW if I started to speak my mind  (beyond a short venting session via a  blog or two),  then I could be at risk for rambling hours or days.  Note: Ranting aloud for days can result in  a bad case of laryngitis.  I have to have faith that eventually, the world will be right again – like in two years.

 Big opportunities and new friendships are found when you look ahead vs. in the “rear view mirror”.  I have had doors open this year that I just didn’t expect and made new friendships that are refreshing and chocked full of ways to expand my learning!  One HUGE lesson I embraced –  I needed to stop what wasn’t working and begin to follow my passion. That is why I have learned to go back to what really mattered to me – investing in the education of  kids by working in schools.  Opportunity knocked and I opened the door.  The kids were smiling. I am happy.

Seek calm and status quo as they can be far better than their counterparts – chaos and drama. I have learned to turn off the noise from those who are negative or have created their own myopic world.  I respect their right to conduct their lives as they wish. But for me… well….  sorry I need to mute these folks, walk away, and remain off their radar.

 You Matter. We All Matter.   On February 14th, hubby and I were in Japan.  I woke up to the news about the Parkland HS shootings. Not from Facebook headline, but from a dear friend’s text telling me that she was beyond upset. The unthinkable was happening  before her eyes as  her daughter’s school was the scene of an active mass shooting.  This young teen witnessed the most horrific scenes that anyone could imagine and lost some of her closest friends and classmates. She went from an innocent young lady to one that now marks time before and after February 14th.   I learned that day,  that sadly, no one is safe from random violence. But, everyone can demonstrate compassion and come together to help the grieving and create change.

I was honored and in awe of those who donated money and services to help people most in need.  Including my women’s networking group, BCBC, who donated monies to help bring a bit of joy to the Parkland students.

Yes … People cared. And …People showed that we ALL matter in this world.

Social media should not be used as your diary or date book.  Of course, I am a big fan of social media but I don’t share my day to day schedule nor do I find it necessary to write my most personal thoughts or a rash of scathing comments. I want to use social media for social good because kindness really does matter.  And when I see a timeline that is more self-serving than serving others, I simply mute it or unfollow.

See a movie. This last one may seem really trivial…but (please) treat yourself to seeing  new release movies in the theater. And, splurge! Get both the popcorn and the candy!

In closing, feel free to share your life lessons in the comment section.  Be good to yourselves.  Be good to others.  Be well.  Happy Holidays! ❤️



No Drama, Please

I am going to venture a bet that you all  have all experienced that feeling. The one that started in the pit of your stomach, shortly after you entered a crowded room. Then came the immediate realization that something was “just not right” and perhaps it was best to go to PLAN B – bolting for the door.  What was your first clue? Was it the whispering conversations? Or did you spot staring looks of disdain someone made towards another attendee? Perhaps there was one person who seemed to “be holding court” with obnoxious laughter and countless diatribes.

This my friends, is what I like to call “Creating a drama effect”.  A behavior(s) that is meant to make a significant impact in a group or situation for the sake of garnering power, controlling a situation, elevating a  person’s level of self- importance or simply for “sport”.

Moreover, the drama effect could happen when a person joins or participates in an association / club  and ends up creating chaos. A calm event turns to calamity with one person shifting the mood with a single behavior.  Sometimes we call that person the “Drama Queen” … but in all fairness… “Drama Kings” also can be in our midst.

You have all experienced drama if you belong to any formal or informal organization, such as a PTO, sports league, religious organization or heck – even an online social group.  I bet as you are reading this blog you are conjuring a face or name in your mind.. right now.  No need to share.  I already “know” that person and have “met” him/her before. You see,  I guess I  am old enough and maybe wise enough that I no longer need to be part of this “scene” as I have had my fill of drama.

Now I can graciously bow out of arenas where drama prevails and join or continue to be only where people are kind, generous and believe that giving is far better an action than getting.  Being in the thick drama is now a choice for me. And, I am choosing to live and work in a “drama free zone.”

The take – away… if you are genuine to your true self you don’t need to surround yourself with drama.

It takes a lot of guts to actually be the person you truly are – faults, flaws, and amazing traits!  It also takes a lot of chutzpah to walk away from drama.  I am nothing but filled with chutzpah – for sure!

It saddens me to see the news at night and think how better our world would be if we did a few simple steps to stop making our world FULL of drama.  May I suggest…

  1. Accentuate the positive in a person even when they don’t say positive things about others. If that is too hard to do – walk away to a “no drama” zone in your environment.  Sadly, people who create drama usually don’t stop easily. So, for your own emotional health – don’t engage, but simply walk away. 
  2. Offer to be a helper and a doer vs. a hinderer or taker. 
  3. Get an education – in whatever is your passion. And, support education for all. (Yes, that is a blatant and shameless political message.)
  4. Stop the blame game by stopping to look in the past. You aren’t headed that way – so leave it there.  

In closing, I am not writing this blog to point fingers, but simply to shine a light on a prevailing theme in our world – that we tend to accept powerful and popular people who create drama, despite it being a negative response to a situation and that has no real purpose.

Once again, thanks for reading.

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